• Like my daddy alway's said, where there's a way, there's a will. (JR Ewing)

• Don't be so glum Lucy; rich folks are always happy. (JR Ewing)

• Oh Barnes, you just get dumber and dumber every day. (JR Ewing)

• A marriage is like a salad: the man has to know how to keep his tomatoes on the top. (JR Ewing)

• Contracts were made to be broken, honey, but a handshake is the law of God. (JR Ewing)

• Like my daddy alway's said: if you can't get in the front door, just go around to the back. (JR Ewing)

• Don't worry about her; the good Lord has ways of looking after drunks like her! (JR Ewing)

• Marilee, if you don't hurry, someone else is gonna get your street corner. (JR Ewing)

• Look up the word cheap in a dictionary, and you'll see his picture there!(JR about Cliff Barnes)

• I wouldn't give you the dust off my car. (JR Ewing)

• You know, Sue Ellen. I do believe you're going ninety miles an hour toward a nervous breakdown. We're going to have to do something about your ravings. (JR Ewing)

• When your holding a double barrel shotgun use both barrels. (JR Ewing)

• That's O.K. honey, Bobby doesn't have a capacity to forgive and forget like I do. That's a shame, damn shame. (JR Ewing)

• Go to bed Sue Ellen, there's nothing uglier than a woman who can't handle her liquor! (JR Ewing)

• Sue Ellen, you're a drunk, a tramp, and an unfit mother. (JR Ewing)

• The world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ole J.R. Ewing. (JR Ewing)

• Don't forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves. (JR Ewing)

• Chances are the baby's yours. I've been just as faithful to our marriage vows as you have been, darling. (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• If you do anything to hurt that young man, you are going to wake up one morning and find out you no longer have a wife, even in name only.....and you will no longer have a son. So no threats J.R or I will end this mockery we call a marriage once and for all. (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• I'm really not an alchoholic. (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• I hope she fights you for Ewing Oil and I hope she wins because then you will know exactly how I feel tonight. (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• Theres nothing in this world Jock wants more than a grandson; I haven't given him one because of your disinterest in me. She's pregnant. Little brother Bobby and that Barnes girl are going to have a baby named Ewing. Maybe a boy! Think about that! (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• You bought me once J.R. But you can't anymore. I'm no longer for sale. (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• Lots of men have tried to run roughshod over me you can visit them in the cemetery. (Sue Ellen Ewing

• I'm cutting you off you viper. Came back to help me? You came back to help yourself to my husband. (Sue Ellen Ewing to Mandy Winger)

• You and I will not live as man and wife. From now on, it's seperate bedrooms and seperate lives. (Sue Ellen Ewing)

• Nothing brings out the best in you like other people's unhappiness. (Sue Ellen to JR)